40 Responses to POEM 6: O6 APRIL 2010

1. Wanda McCollar
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:35 pm

   Oh, I love this! Such wonderful metaphors and images. Especially “here is the dawn, freshly baked/
   warm and golden and cloud crusted/in its bright oven of morning” – now there’s a metaphor that will last forever. Weell done, Greg.

2. Greg
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:36 pm

   Thanks, Wanda. True fact: I once worked as a baker for two years on the ‘bread shift’ starting at 2am. We would stack 16 double loaf tins into a 6ft trolley and wheel it into the oven…and out, to reveal 32 fresh loaves. =)

3. Marisa Cappetta
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:38 pm

   I like it and want more. I want something to happen. Does that make sense?

4. Greg
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:39 pm

   Marisa – “want something to happen” in a narrative sense? emotionally, from the writer’s point of view? something more dramatic? =)

5. Stan Ski
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:40 pm

   I get the dawn bit and that oven fresh feeling every morning, and sunsets, ‘heavy footed’ as you say, bring not the chat of birds, but the incessant tatto of crickets/locusts, that humidity I spoke of (in Day 1) that you can drink, and overnight temp of 32C.
   Another fine piece.

6. Greg
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:41 pm

   Thanks, Stan. “humidity you can drink” Nice. =)

7. Catherine
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:54 pm

   I’m not sure that I feel the same as Marisa, I actually like the way it ends – lovely images.

8. Greg
   April 6th, 2010 at 7:55 pm

   Thanks, Catherine. It’s dawn, so I guess it ends with a beginning. =)

9. Susan
   April 6th, 2010 at 8:37 pm

   I really like the image I got from that

10. Greg
    April 6th, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    Thanks, Susan. Delighted it lit up your imagination. =)

11. Ron.
    April 6th, 2010 at 10:19 pm

    Oh yeah. S3. Perfection.

12. Greg
    April 6th, 2010 at 10:20 pm

    Thanks, Ron. That’s some bright praise, right there! I’ll check out your latest soon. =)

13. Derrick
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:06 am

    Hi Greg,

    This is nice! I join the dawn bakery queue and also love the “sunrise, wider/than the span of albatross wings,”

14. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:07 am

    Thanks, Derrick. Anything to avoid the old cliche: wide as the horizon. =)

15. Jenna
    April 7th, 2010 at 3:12 am

    I love the idea of a freshly baked dawn. Nom!

16. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 3:13 am

    Thanks, Jenna. And it happens every time: miracle! =)

17. rob kistner
    April 7th, 2010 at 4:22 am

    Good stuff Greg. I especially liked:
    here is the dawn, freshly baked
    warm and golden and cloud crusted
    in its bright oven of morning
    Well written…
    …rob
    Image & Verse

18. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 4:23 am

    Thanks, Rob. Writer’s note: I think there’s a kind of conversational appeal in using “and” more than once in a phrase. I’ll drop by ASAP. =)

19. Richelle
    April 7th, 2010 at 5:03 am

    nice image of “cloud-crusted.” good work!

20. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 5:04 am

    Thanks, Richelle. “Caps it off” nicely. =)

21. Matt Quinn
    April 7th, 2010 at 5:16 am

    Wow. Lovely poem.

22. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 5:17 am

    Thanks, Matt. Lovely of you to say so. =)

23. Andy Sewina
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:23 am

    Yeah, love this, I love the way you offer up the lines, here is the sunrise, here is the dawn!

24. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Thanks, Andy…for offering up the feedback. =)

25. barbara
    April 7th, 2010 at 9:38 am

    the bread imagery gets me, too
    cloud crusted
    that is fine.

26. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    Thanks, Barbara. A simple recipe. =)

27. pamela
    April 7th, 2010 at 10:48 am

    Greg,
    This is so well done! Love it!
    Pamela

28. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Thanks, Pamela. It’s one of my favourites, too. =)

29. Linda Jacobs
    April 7th, 2010 at 11:37 am

    I love the “oven of morning”! You painted the sunrise so well that I don’t even need to see a picture of it.

30. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Thanks, Linda. What a compliment. =)

31. Uma Gowrishankar
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Greg, it’s marvellous the way you build your images.

32. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Thanks, Uma. Maybe I inherited something of that from my dad: he was a builder. =)

33. Robin
    April 7th, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    “Here is the dawn, freshly baked… ” Wow. Makes me want to become an earlier riser.

34. Greg
    April 7th, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    Thanks, Robin. Yes. I must get back to my 5am starts. Ted Kooser (former Poet Laureate) used to rise at 4.30 every morning, and write for two hours before going off to work. Now that’s someone who loves to write! =)

35. Kk
    April 8th, 2010 at 1:40 am

    Loved the sunset at the start “pocketed, like a coin”. Very striking, that image. That, and the dawn as albatross wings. I look forward to reading more in the days to come.

36. Greg
    April 8th, 2010 at 1:41 am

    Thanks, Kk. “pocketed, like a coin” is an image I’m really fond of, too. And you can be sure I’ll check out your blog regularly. =)

37. Marie
    April 8th, 2010 at 9:43 am

    I love the idea of pocketing a sunset like a coin. I think I’ll carry that one with me.

38. Greg
    April 8th, 2010 at 9:44 am

    Thanks, Marie. LOL. Great play! =)

39. NZ vs NaPoWriMo 2010 – first week « A Dark Feathered Art
    April 8th, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    [...] Period (who could go past that title?!), Kay’s beautiful such attendance, and Greg’s The Sunrise, which I am working very hard not to filch lines from. You are all disgustingly good, and I am [...]

40. Greg
    April 8th, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    Thanks, Joanna. But you’re much more likely to be the “filchee”. =)

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