SONNET: 09 APRIL 2010
by Greg ~ April 10th, 2010. Filed under: Poems.Little Song for the Macrocarpa
Sentries on the dark Shakespearean stage, like some marionette
troupe, power-line puppets; as a sleep-walker
you lumber in the paddock, unaware you ought to
summon your collective strength, snap the strings of night,
stretch out your limbs, and leg it, before they have your neck.
Think on fallen comrades who have fought here,
ignore the slow sheep, silly for the taste of slaughter,
depart the winter field without regret.
Behold the night torch! Look to where Rona shines her lamp -
beyond this bruise of wheels, beyond this heavy ploughed tome,
yes, let the possum hiss, the magpie flap,
startle the arrogant traffic, and neat as a hawk’s talon, stow
away your roots, then at the land’s fringe, set up camp
in sight of the rolling swell, in step with the wind strum.
Greg O’Connell © 2010
April 10th, 2010 at 5:13 am
I know that sonnets come in a variety of styles and although I’m a sucker for rhyme this tells a strong tale. I particularly like
“Think on fallen comrades who have fought here,
ignore the slow sheep, silly for the taste of slaughter,
depart the winter field without regret.”
April 10th, 2010 at 5:15 am
Thanks, Derrick…for taking the time to comment in full. “ignore…slaughter” great fun to write, and now recite! This one, by the way, is a ‘Petrarchan’ sonnet (Thank you, Stephen Fry in: ‘The Ode Less Travelled’). =)
April 10th, 2010 at 6:27 am
Very impressive!
April 10th, 2010 at 6:30 am
Thanks, Matt. Slam-dunk! =)
April 10th, 2010 at 7:44 am
Lovely imagery here Greg. The sestet rocks!
April 10th, 2010 at 7:45 am
Thanks, Joanna. From a poet of your mana, that is manna. =)
April 10th, 2010 at 9:57 am
Oh, I just love it, Greg, wonderful wonderful, more more! Bravo!
April 10th, 2010 at 10:00 am
Thanks, Marisa. Your generous encouragement and your inspiration are gratefully acknowledged. Mwah! =)
April 10th, 2010 at 10:34 am
Brilliant, as always. I had to look up ‘Macrocarpa’ , is it under threat?
April 10th, 2010 at 10:35 am
Thanks, Eryl. As boys, my brother and I would scramble and swing in the neighbour’s macrocarpa hedge. And, in North Otago, where I grew up, they form wind-breaks stretching in dense lines along the fencelines of local farms. As far as I know they’re still alive and well there – unless they’ve heeded my advice, and staged a march to the sea. =)
April 10th, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Awesome job with this one. That is a truly beautiful poem. Love the language, the images…all of it. “Let the possum hiss, the magpie flap….”–wonderful!
April 10th, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Thank you, Robin. I know it takes time and effort to keep visiting, and I really appreciate your sincere, specific feedback. I’m very much enjoying your own ‘little songs’… =)
April 10th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
nice to read
southern landscapes
currently reading a book of short stories by cate kennedy called dark roots
which includes a story of a boy who wants to save trees
April 10th, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Thanks, ‘lucychili’. Every week I drive up the valley, past rolling green farmland inhabited by all manner of trees. I guess you might say: ‘extended’ family. =)
April 11th, 2010 at 12:47 am
I, too, had to read the comments before understanding what Macrocarpa was. Then I went back and reread the poem and it made a lot more sense! Love how you used the words! “bruise of wheels” especially!
April 11th, 2010 at 12:47 am
Thanks, Linda. As mentioned, I grew up in provincial rural heartland and developed a lasting affection for the landscape. There was great value in the prompt here: it forced an association that I might never have noticed, to arrive at “bruise of wheels”. =)
April 11th, 2010 at 12:48 am
Masterful! I admire how you turned the prompt of a bad taste into “taste of slaughter.” And, yes, some sonnets are “little songs” but this piece is large, large, large. I love “wind strum.” And this poem is so different from your first NaPoWriMo posting! Versatility.
April 11th, 2010 at 1:00 am
Thanks, Therese. “taste of slaughter” was one of the last phrases to fall into place, and one of the most satisfying. And thrilled you like “wind strum”. I love the way searching for slant rhyme can generate delicious combinations of sound. =)
April 12th, 2010 at 4:21 am
I love the line “beyond this bruise of wheels.” The image is so vivid, yet still kind of mysterious. I like it. Great poem!
April 12th, 2010 at 7:30 am
Thanks, Richelle. I’m looking forward to road-testing this poem at a ‘Poetry in Performance’ event this week. Images on the page and in the mind are one thing – but there’s a whole other buzz to getting the phrases ‘off-paper’ and into people’s ears. =)